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Dir. Adrian Carr
Australia-Hong Kong
Film #26 of The ‘Worst’ of Cinema
The amount of martial arts films
I’ve covered for this season suggests that I may have an obsession, one beyond
that I judged in the review Strike of
Thunderkick Tiger (1982). I didn’t expect tonight’s review to be Australian
though; I wondered if the protagonist Richard
Norton was slipping in and out of an Australian accent in the first scene
of the movies, and the end credits, yes to my surprise, informed me of this continental
co-production. Martial artist/architect/marine/samurai/lothario of the ladies Norton travels to Thailand to locate his
grandfather’s body and a legendary sword that, claimed by his grandfather as
spoils of combat after the Pacific War ends, he wants to return back to the
Japanese government. Starting a relationship with school teacher cum guerrilla fighter
Suay (Rochelle Ashana), the two will
have to contend with numerous individuals, including the yakuza, trying to
claim the sword for themselves.
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Acquired because of the potential
pleasure of a quasi-American Ninja
film, from what the DVD cover suggested, the film for three-quarters of its
length really does not go in that direction. Neither does it really present
something else during that time either. Nothing really interesting happens. Its
star Richard Norton is just a typical
early nineties action star who doesn’t really project enough charisma needed
for a film like this. He seduces a female office worker, in a really tight
white office uniform in a graphically vaselined-screened sex scene, then when
he goes to Thailand, he’s a almost super being, even defeating a talented Thai
kickboxer who gets the green eye over how Norton
and Ashana interact, but he’s not
able to be more than a cookie cutter, white male action star. It doesn’t help
that there is very little for him to work with, to the point it isn’t really a
martial arts film.
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The only time this film vaguely gets
interesting, not redeemably so but not a waste of time, is when the yakuza get
involved in the last quarter. I have no qualms with writing spoilers because
this film is only worth viewing through clips. In the sole moment where a
ninja, promised on the DVD cover, appears they commit one of the most embarrassing
moments in ninjutsu history. While taunting the hero, after he’s had his head
kicked in and is fleeing, a ninja is distracted to the point that he is hit by a bus and squashed. The entire populous
of ninja cinema would want to separate themselves from the clan who has this
unfortunate member, one who was taught the skills of ninja assassination but
not basic road safety. The film itself becomes more relieving and interesting,
not just with the climactic battle suitable for a martial arts film, but a car
chase where Norton pursues the
villains in a go-kart, the dinkyness of him sitting in it against the car he is
chasing somewhat amusing, especially as he is the typical rugged, muscular
action film lead. It cannot save the whole film. Those three quarters before
this is unbearable. And even in the ending there are problems. It shows
incompetence in the director, when you could have your actors speak in their
first language to help their acting, you force them to perform in English, out
of fear of subtitles, even more so when one of your actors Toshishiro Obata, to be blunt, is incomprehensible in what he is
saying. This is dubious on the director’s part, and when Obata is your main villains, the yakuza boss, it’s also idiotic. The
film as a whole is an immense mess, an erratic narrative that really is a chore
to sit through until that incompetent ninja onwards appears. The surge of
YouTube compilation clips was designed for films like this that have not enough
quality to sit through the whole of. A sad thing to say, but where it not for
those moments of pleasure, this would have been a completely arbitrary viewing
experience.
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